the art of letting go in order to win

Hi babes! Jesse here and welcome to my blog where I write, speak and vibe on everything from pop culture, self-care and life topics. Just for some background on me, I'm 22 years old, am currently a full-time worker but will be beginning my tertiary education journey next year. And I don't know what else to say about myself lol.

Today, we will be talking about the art of letting go in order to win. With covid and the harsh realities of one's life, it can be hard to let things go but I am here to tell you that it certainly is possible. I am currently on my own self-care journey towards being the best version of myself. Many of these tips are things that I have done or am working towards doing.

1. Let go of that job you hate.

I know that some people will not have the luxury to give up their jobs. Maybe you have people that depend on you and your income. I am still working on this one as I find it hard to leave my comfort zone. I however want to interest you in the long haul. Yes, you might be wrapping burgers right now but remember that this job is not your end. Start telling yourself that it is possible for you to have an amazing job and career that you will love doing every day which will allow for you to be financially stable and happy. Stop telling yourself that this dead-end job you're working right now is the end for you. You most certainly can reach and be better as long as you're willing to work hard enough for it.

2. Let go of your comfort zone.

I'm telling you now, your comfort zone holds you back. Have you ever heard the quote "All growth starts at the end of your comfort zone."? Well, that certainly is true. Nothing great was ever done by staying in your comfort zone. In order to truly win, sometimes you will have to venture out of the little cocoon that you have built around yourself and actually go for it. That's why I started this blog. That's why I launched my own Etsy shop because I was sick and tired of the life I had built around myself when I knew that I could and will do so much more. Since that first spark of motivation, I have since made just one sale on my shop which at first I found disheartening until I remembered, it took God seven days to make the Earth. Leaving your comfort zone can bring you so many different opportunities whether that's friends, relationships, job opportunities but one thing rings true; your hard work will always pay off.

3. Let go of your family and friends.

I know that many will think that this is a stupid idea like 'what does she mean by letting go of my family' and I mean exactly that. Family situations will be different for everyone but in my experience, I come from a loving, supportive family. We weren't the richest of families but like my mum used to always say, "If your fridge is full then you're rich." When I say let go of your family, I mean let go of their expectations and sometimes even their opinions. If your family isn't beneficial at all to your future development then they are obstacles that will ultimately get in the way of you achieving greatness. You can still love someone without valuing their opinion so much that you start prioritising their wants and wishes for you over your own. Let yourself be the one to choose for yourself your failures and your wins. They may be right about where your life will be headed because of certain decisions you have made but let yourself be the maker of your own failure and triumphs. The second you let them go is when you will truly start climbing mountains and let's be honest, everyone starts changing their tune once you start climbing mountains.

4. Let go of your fears.

The only thing I can say is to make fear your little bitch. Why must we always hold ourselves back from going after something we want? Just do it. Honestly, I still struggle with this. Some days I wake up and decide that I will do absolutely nothing but stay in bed and catch up on that anime I've been watching and that's ok. As long as the next day you decide that since you allowed yourself to watch anime all day the day before, you better do something productive today. Just because you're trying to become the baddest version of yourself, doesn't mean that all your fears suddenly disappear. There will be days where they will creep up on you and remind you of their existence, so long as the day that it really matters, the day where everything is on the line and your dream is but a few feet in front of you, that is the day that I hope you won't let your fear or insecurities take you.

5. Let go of your fear of failure.

Failure is a part of life. If you're not failing then you're not moving at all. You need to fail in order to win. And I say this because the more times you fail, the more potential paths to your dream life are eliminated. I am no newbie to failure. Like I said, next year I will be starting my tertiary education but actually, back in 2018, I started university straight out of high school. I lasted a single semester. That time of my life was very trying because I felt so useless and I just couldn't understand why I couldn't just finish my university education. I had just finished 13 years of school, you'd think I would find an extra 4 years for a degree a piece of cake but as you can see, I dropped out after only half the year.

My failure at university made it hard for me to make the decision to go back to university next year. I didn't want to go because what if once again I couldn't crack it? What if I failed again? But I remember thinking, if something isn't challenging me then it isn't changing me. I applied for university the next day. Just remember that failure makes us appreciate our wins that much more. When I had that first sale on my Etsy shop after almost two weeks of nothing, I felt that much more appreciative of my efforts, determination and perseverance.

This is your sign babes!! Failing is fine as long as you pick yourself back up afterwards and get back to work.

6. Let go of laziness.

I'm sure we all have lazy habits. One of mine is deciding to watch an anime episode only to have suddenly spent the whole day watching the show because I refused to stop until I knew what happened. Laziness leads to lazy habits and no one who is chasing after their dreams and becoming the best versions of themselves is lazy. Having rest days are ok cause I know that sometimes you need some me time and that life is being particularly shitty but do not let your laziness get in the way of your true goals. Visualisation and manifestation have helped me when I'm faced with laziness. Keep working hard babes, it's already yours.

7. Let go of your past.

Ok so no matter how much you may hope and pray, you can't change your past, only your present and your future. And if you can't change something then you might as well just move on. Sometimes we can really fixate on the cards we are dealt or the circumstances that we seem to find ourselves in but honey, it's not going to get you further in life. It's ok to go through trauma. It's ok to go through difficulties in your life as long as it does not affect your present and future circumstances. Maybe you have made decisions when you were a teenager that has had lifelong repercussions or whatever else but you have the ability now to make sure that those traumas, past decisions and whatnot do not affect who you are right now and will become. Stop looking at your past as a hindrance and instead grab it and turn that shit around.

8. Let go of comparisons.

There is no two of the same. You are not like that girl or that girl. You are simply yourself and that's where I think self-love and self-confidence come into play. Self-love is never selfish, let's get that straight. Self-love is never ever selfish. So there is no need for comparisons. You know growing up, I was the smart child of my siblings and because of that label I had, I constantly compared myself to all the other smart girls in my class, wondering why I wasn't as smart or as pretty as them and it took me a long time to get over that. Even now, I still struggle with that innate need to meet my parents' standards simply because of the comparisons that were drawn on me from when I was a child. Embark on a journey to authenticity instead.

9. Let go of your jealousy and negative vibes.

With comparisons comes jealously. Ladies and gentlemen, being jealous and having all-around negative energy is a huge no for me. Being jealous of someone else's success will not bring your own to fruition. I would suggest that if you want to be somebody and go somewhere then you need to be positive. You need to be happy to see others win and not be negative. Most people who are negative receive so much negativity because of how negative they are. You do not need to like someone to not wish them well but I would say that when you finally start stepping into your formative years where you finally and truly are striving to become the best version of yourself, it's easier to do that without all of the negative baggage you carry.

There you have it! These are all the tips I have for you to win in life and to become the best version of yourself. Sometimes sacrifices need to be made in order to achieve greatness and I think sacrificing these things depending on your circumstances, can only bring you closer and closer to a better future.

I hope you have a very pleasant anytime of the 24 hours in a day right now. Thank you for reading!

Over and out,

J x